A Point-By-Point Refutation of Senator Jim Inhofe’s Idiotic and...
Look, I don’t want to just demagogue someone for no reason, but Senator Jim Inhofe (R-Dope-lahoma) is just about completely worthless as a Senator. Inhofe recently took the side of violent, gun-toting...
View ArticleThe Whiskey-Dick Rebellion: An Open Letter to Neo-Revolutionary Gun Dummies
Attention Neo-Revolutionaries Like the Buttholes Who Shot and Killed Three People in Las Vegas, I have just three words for you all: Whiskey Rebellion, bitches. Since I know folks like you tend to read...
View ArticleFounding Fathers: ‘Don’t Ask US About Gun Violence, Dummies!’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — At a recent seance and press conference in the nation’s capital, reporters were able to contact and question the spirits of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison and...
View ArticleObama: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Mohammed Ali to Appear on $1 and $5 Bills by...
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Issuing what he called an “Executive Sharia Order,” President Barack Hussein Obama (D-Kenya) has declared that further changes to United States currency are “warranted, necessary,...
View ArticleTrump Is Shown Pictures of Hitler and Washington, Can’t Tell Them Apart
It's not just Confederate Generals like Stonewall Jackson or Robert E. Lee that Trump gets confused with George Washington. The post Trump Is Shown Pictures of Hitler and Washington, Can’t Tell Them...
View ArticleHistorians Discover George Washington’s Long Lost Weed Stash
FREDERICKSBERG, VIRGINIA — In an extremely unforeseen development, President George Washington’s personal cache of marijuana, presumed by historians to be lost for over 200 years, has been discovered...
View ArticleHistorians Discover George Washington’s Long Lost Weed Stash
FREDERICKSBERG, VIRGINIA — In an extremely unforeseen development, President George Washington’s personal cache of marijuana, presumed by historians to be lost for over 200 years, has been discovered...
View ArticleHistorians Unearth George Washington’s Pilot License
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Researchers at the national archives have uncovered a document linked to the first President of the United States that may forever change the way we view him. “Recent presidential...
View ArticleGeorge Washington Ended a Terror Attack With a Solo Flight in His Stealth Bomber
For this week’s installment of Unreal History, we present the story of when George Washington rode into battle personally to end a violent and bloody conflict. But it’s not Shay’s Rebellion we’re...
View ArticleNavy Reveals Washington Won Its First “Top Flintlock” Trophy
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Officials with the U.S. Navy have confirmed today that George Washington was not only the first President of the United States of America, he was the first winner of one of the...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Tucker Carlson Will Only Spend Angelou Quarters Once He Spends the Ones with...
Fox News host and trust fund white supremacist Tucker Carlson inherited wealth that equates to, as one economist once described it, a “shitload of quarters.” Carlson, an heir to the Swanson Foods...
View Article
